SPOILER-FREE PLOT SUMMARY
In a dystopian Earth, a witch named Gray Alys (played by Milla Jovovich) is visited by The Queen (Amara Okereke) who is looking to buy the power of a werewolf within the week. In need of a hunter, Gray Alys enlists Lost Lands veteran Boyce (Dave Bautista) to help her track down Sardor, a shapeshifter, so she can kill it in its den, the only way to inherit its power. But every request comes with a price.
SPOILER-FREE REVIEW
Did a 12 year old prepubescent boy write this script? A direct-to-camera exposition dump, a predictable twist, flimsy characters, cliche dialogue, slow motion set pieces, mythical creatures, etc. are all included. Like that complete douche bag who went to your high school, everything about this screams “Isn’t this awesome?!” when everyone else knows it’s very much the opposite.
I have to hand it to Jovovich and Bautista. They stayed professional through the entirety of shooting. I wouldn’t have faulted them in the slightest if they phoned it in just to get through this. I actually feel bad for Bautista because somebody sold him on attaching himself to it after battling tooth and nail to gain credibility in Hollywood as anything other than a former wrestler-turned-typecasted actor. He was great in KNOCK AT THE CABIN, he was surprisingly disarming in MY SPY and he brought depth to his character in KNIVES OUT. Hopefully all that work is not all undone here.
The only reason this film is salvageable, score-wise, is because the make up and costuming are incredible. It’s really sad that that kind of high quality work was wasted on a movie like this. I understand director Paul W. S. Anderson (RESIDENT EVIL, ALIEN v. PREDATOR) has a video game-style to his films but he also has a straight-to-video quality style to them as well. How can the grand scope of a movie like this still feel so cheap? Well, he find a way to pull it off.
Simply put, IN THE LOST LANDS might be the worst theatrical release of 2025 and is Exhibit A as to why the Mystery Science Theater 3000/Rifftrax guys will never be out of a job. If there’s ever another Fox Vault Fire like the one in 1937, one can only hope this is in it.
JKG SCORE: 2.5
Untitled Film Project 